its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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