Your tits are I can't wait for
i need an iv and a liver transplant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
