I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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