Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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