hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
