community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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