I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize