In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
