help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
