I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
