My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wanna go halves on a baby?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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