Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
