Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
