that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
