ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
