the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
