I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
