Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
