Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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