yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
