i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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