I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
