im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize