i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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