I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
whose ass print is on the piano?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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