So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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