...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
