Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
