Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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