its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
