I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
