Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
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