I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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