Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
