Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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