also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize