Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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