So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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