my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
