checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
