i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
