I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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