your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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