You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
