Yo dont text me then not text me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
