Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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