Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
