do herpes really smell.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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