Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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