I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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