if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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