Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
