it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
