i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
