Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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