If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
