I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize