i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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