someone get that fucking seahorse.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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