id be glad to
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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