sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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