I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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